This is where I found myself not so long ago:
A single mother to my two-yearold daughter M, lost my job and ended up on benefits. I had some savings that I lived off whilst benefits covered the rent and part of the essentials. After several months of searching for a new job my savings were gone and living off benefits alone just wasn't sustainable with my daughter's nursery fees and everything else. Taking her out wasn't an option, because whenever I do find a "regular" job I need the nursery place and chances are that there won't be any allowances for queuing up for a new place.
So I was pretty much screwed. OK, not quite - I suppose there are people who DO live off benefits alone, but I happen to have two degrees with the obligatory pile of student debts to accompany those, as well as a personal loan and a couple of credit cards. I guess an IVA or a debt management scheme could sort all of that out, but I refuse to take that route - I want to clear those debts, not run off from them. Benefits help some people, but they can't help me. Keeping on like this would ensure my financial situation and my chance of ever getting a mortgage would be ruined for a long time. It's not an alternative. It's not something I'm prepared to do.
The option available at this junction is prostitution. Given that I can't live off benefits without ending up having to go down the route of personal bankruptcy, and the fact that I'm struggling to find a full time job that'll pay enough to keep a roof over our heads, let alone put food on the table and cover the bills - it does seem like the only option.
We can dress it up as "escort", "call girl" or even something mysterious sounding like "courtesan" (that's my favourite), but we all know that these are just euphemisms for "whore". I am under no illusions on that score. Looking in the mirror, I reckon I can do it. I'm in my late twenties, looks still intact and with a reasonably nice figure. I'm no supermodel, but I'll do fine I'm sure.
So that's me - a single mother, I guess I'm middle class, with a good education and with a generally strong CV if you disregard these past six months of unemployment. This is the harsh reality: I'd be better off if I had no university education, never had a job and had spent my early twenties popping out babies instead of just having the one. As it stands, I am turning to hooking to sort myself out and take care of my daughter.
It's not a thought I relish, of that you can be sure. I played a little game with myself when I was in town yesterday, mostly because I do realise that not every client is going to be Richard Gere. I asked myself "what if it was him" with almost every man I passed in the street, making a mental note of how many I'd bed not getting paid. The ratio was about one in fifty or so. I am a very fussy lady, and this is something that won't do me any favours in this line of work, but I hear you get numb to it after a while.
Now... Where to begin? It's a jungle out there.
No comments:
Post a Comment